By Rev. No no Noonoo, religion editor
After assuring a group of carefully selected Southern Baptist leaders that he believes Jesus Christ is the son of God, that he is as much a Christian as Mike Huckabee, and that the founders intended America to be a Christian nation, Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney assured them his administration, unlike the current one, would be independent of religious influence.
We had to think long and hard to imagine the speech he will make to attract the votes of America’s atheists. This is what we came up with.
My fellow Americans, although all of you are going to hell, it is likely that before you do you will vote in the upcoming election. Just why you are allowed to vote is an accident of history I cannot explain.
Nor should I have to. After all, my religion is not something I should have to defend publicly. In fact I should not have to talk about it at all if I don’t want to. But you understand as I do that there are persons in this country, people of good conscience, imbued by motives I may or may not share, who insist that all the candidates state their position on religious faith.
I have stated mine. Now I turn to you because, having made it clear how far I am willing to go to reassure people of faith that I am a worthy candidate, it occurs to me that there may be a few wayward souls who could have felt slighted at the tone and content of my latest speech.
Do not be concerned. I want to assure you that my reputation for evenhandedness is well deserved. Just as I took pains to tell one sectarian group that they need not fear my church influencing my decisions in office, I want to tell you why you should not either.
Your choice to reject what is clearly the intended faith of this nation and to become a voluntary member of a minority is a right given you by the constitution. As your president, I will defend that right. Furthermore, you should know that I will never concern myself with your private exercise of that right as long as it remains private and does not interfere with my obligation to advance the Christian mission of this country.
I am a Christian and a family man. A man who does not spend time with his family is not a man.
But with that said, I pledge—on the souls of my grandchildren–that I will not be the one to break the peace we have made today.
One Comment
Christians everywhere are reassured that Romney will not let his christianness influence his decisions as President.
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