By Lars Gnugnu, staff reporter
A Topeka, Kansas physician today announced a plan to begin manufacturing “fuel bricks” from compressed hay. Dr. Bill Schaetzel plans to purchase equipment that will turn hay or straw into bricks. The bricks will then be sold for use in wood-burning stoves and fireplaces.
This is the latest development in the conversion of food plants and other farm resources into biofuel. The trend has supporters who claim it will reduce our dependence on oil and opponents who say it is increasing the cost of food.
To help you decide we offer the following tale.
Once upon a time there were three little pigs who left home to make their way in the world. All three built fine sturdy houses in which to live and planted fields of corn to feed themselves.
One day the big, bad wolf went to the home of the first pig. He pounded on the door and said,
“Little pig, little pig, give me to eat.
If I don’t get some ham, I’ll pickle your feet.”
The little pig was so frightened that he did nothing. So the wolf opened the door, came in, and made off with him. For two weeks he dined on bacon, ham, and pickled pig’s feet.
At the end of the two weeks, the wolf went to the home of the second pig. He pounded on the door and said,
“Little pig, little pig, give me to eat.
If I don’t get some ham, I’ll pickle your feet.”
The little pig thought for a moment and then said, “I’m sorry I don’t have anything for you just now, but if you will come back tomorrow I will set out a feast for you.” The wolf went away licking his lips in anticipation of a fine meal.
The little pig got busy and converted all his corn into ethanol. He filled the tank of his SUV and hitched a trailer tank of the fuel behind it. He drove as far from home as he could get. When he finally ran out of fuel, he discovered he had nothing to eat and starved to death.
When the wolf arrived the next day, he found the field harvested and the house empty.
So he went to the home of the third pig. He pounded on the door and said,
“Little pig, little pig, give me to eat.
If I don’t get some ham, I’ll pickle your feet.”
The little pig thought for a moment and then said, “I’m sorry I don’t have anything for you just now, but if you will come back tomorrow I will set out a feast for you. The stupid wolf went away licking his lips in anticipation of a fine meal.
The next day the wolf showed up at the home of the little pig and was surprised to find that the pig had harvested just enough corn to make a meal for the two of them. The pig ate cornbread with butter and honey and the wolf dined on a delicious vegetarian ham. The wolf proposed bringing succulent roots to the next meal if the pig would make corn fritters in the shape of pig’s feet. The pig agreed and the two lived happily ever after.
Moral: If we’re going to keep on being pigs, we had better wise up.
4 Comments
Allocation of resources. Everything is finite in this world. Are you saying we have to make peace with our enemies and share our resources? This is very seditious talk. No less a personage than V.P. Dick Cheney says we should invade any country that has what we want and not share it with anyone else. This is survival!! You Socialists would have us believe that sharing is the better way. How can that be? We have to see other people starving and in peril to feel good about ourselves. Its Mine, Its Mine, Its Mine. That is the philosophy that has been turned into . Support our troops who are battling to further this philosphy of the mighty get the spoils and be Damned to the bastards who try to keep our just deserts from us.
Now, Lorenzo. I don’t know if we can or should domesticate all the wolves, whether of the canis lupus or Cheney variety. But by being brave enough to offer a little mutton to that first wolf that ventured into the camp, one of our ancestors taught us a valuable lesson. A dog in the lap is better than one clamped on your leg.
Ok Lars, you must know that basically biofuels are a sham because they use coal to produce it and you know how they get their coal (mountaintop mining). Besides, Bush endorses biofuels, as well as NUKE-YOU-LER power plants, which means BAD BAD BAD!
My cats have this attitude: what’s yours is mine and what’s mine is mine. I think most people who are in power in government are cats. I know I wouldn’t like mine so much if they were actually people
Yes, biofuel is just another way to keep from admitting we need to use less carbon-based energy. My cat gets by using as little energy as possible, but I have to pay for it.
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