By James Noonoo
For several weeks, our microwave oven had been teasing us. Oh, it worked, but only when it wanted to. Sometimes you would punch in the time and press START and off it would go. Other times the timer would count down, but the magnetron and carousel would not start until you found the sweet spot on the control and pressed it. The sweet spot tended to move around, so you were never sure how long it would take to get the thing going. Eventually it always did, but we finally got tired of coaxing it and decided to call for repair service.
I first checked to see whether it was still covered by the warranty. My wife and I thought we had bought it less than a year ago around Christmas. Actually, the receipt showed that we bought it on 12/22/00. Oh, Oh.
The owner’s manual told us it was a Sears Kenmore and that we could get service by calling 1 800 4-MY-HOME. Calling the number led to the following conversation.
Recorded female voice: To serve you better, this call may be recorded. Welcome to Sears! What type of service would you like? For parts or repairs, including appointment scheduling, say “Repair Center!” For questions about a warranty or protection or maintenance agreement, say “Warranty.” For your nearest Sears Store or Sears parts and repair center, say “Sears location.” For anything else, say “Other department.” For assistance, say “Help!” To hear this list again, say “Repeat.”
Noonoo: Repair Center.
Recorded female voice: OK! Parts and Repair Center. Let me know what you’d like to do. You can make, change, or cancel an appointment, order a part for a do-it-yourself repair, check on the status of a part order, or get the location of your nearest Sears Parts and Repair Center. If you’re calling for any other repair center service, say “Other Service.” If you don’t want a repair center service, say “Start Over.” To hear this list again, say, “Repeat.”
Noonoo: Make a repair.
Recorded female voice: Sorry, I didn’t catch that. Please say, “Make appointment, change appointment…”
Noonoo: Oh, Make appointment.
Recorded female voice: OK! You’d like to make an appointment for repair service. Right?
Noonoo: Right! (Here I found myself beginning to imitate the cheery singsong of the recorded female voice. I couldn’t help it.)
Recorded female voice: OK! What’s the product that needs service? For example, say “Refrigerator” or “Furnace.”
Noonoo: Mmm. Microwave oven.
Recorded female voice: That’s a ….
Other female voce: microwave…oven…
Recorded female voice: Is that correct?
Noonoo: Yes.
Recorded female voice: Sorry, I didn’t catch that. Your microwave oven needs servicing. Is that correct? Please say “Yes” or “No.”
Noonoo: Yes.
Recorded female voice: Please tell me of the following choices, which best describes the main problem you’re having. It is: making noise, vibrating, not running, not heating. If none of those describes the problem, please say “None of those.”
Noonoo: Not heating.
Recorded female voice: It’s…not heating. Is that correct?
Noonoo: Yes.
Recorded female voice: All right! Let’s schedule your appointment. First, I need to confirm the name. The service technician should come to the…
Male synthesizer voice: Noonoo…
Recorded female voice: residence. Is that correct?
Noonoo: Yes!
Recorded female voice: And the address is…
Male synthesizer voice: Seven…four…five…two…Chocolate…Street.
Recorded female voice: Is that correct?
Noonoo: Yes.
Recorded female voice: Thank you. There is a…
Other female voice: fifty…five…dollar …
Recorded female voice: charge to have a technician come to your home to diagnose the problem and give you an estimate for the repairs. This estimate will incorporate the…
Other female voice: fifty…five…dollar …
Recorded female voice: charge and additional parts and labor. If you decide not to have the …
Other female voice: microwave…oven…
Recorded female voice: repaired, you will pay the…
Other female voice: fifty…five…dollar …
Recorded female voice: charge. Would you like to schedule a service call?
(Long pause while I tried to remember why I had called.)
Recorded female voice: Please say “Yes” or “No.”
Noonoo: Yes.
Recorded female voice: All right. Just one more thing. Is that address within the city limits?
Noonoo: Yes.
Recorded female voice: Thank you. Now I will connect you with one of our service representatives.
Noonoo: Thank you.
(Ringing)
Recorded female voice: Thank you for calling the Sears Service Center. All of our representatives are busy. Please remain on the line and your call will be taken in turn.
(Long pause)
Recorded female voice: All of our representatives are busy. Please remain on the line and your call will be taken in turn. (The pauses and messages repeated several times.)
Recorded female voice: For your convenience, you can schedule service by visiting the Sears web site. All of our representatives are busy. Please remain on the line and your call…
Male voice: Sears Service Center. This is Romero. How can I help you?
Noonoo: I have a Kenmore microwave oven that isn’t heating. (At this point I assumed he had all the information I had just given.)
Romero: Yes sir, what is your name?
Noonoo: James Noonoo.
Romero: Yes, sir, and what is your phone number?
Noonoo: 985-555-2343.
Romero: Yes, sir, and what can I do for you?
Noonoo: Well, like I said, I have a Kenmore microwave oven that isn’t heating. I’d like to have it repaired.
Romero: I’m sorry sir. I won’t be able to schedule the repair right now. Our computer is down. You should try calling back in about an hour.
Noonoo: Well, you’ll know when the computer comes back up and I won’t. Could you just call me at the number I gave you when it does?
Romero: No sir, I’m sorry, I can’t make outgoing calls. I can only take incoming calls. Just wait an hour and call 1 800-4-MY-HOME.
Noonoo: And will I get to speak to you again?
Romero: Probably not. The computer assigns the calls randomly.
Noonoo: Oh. Thank you.
At this point I hung up and decided to call the local Sears. According to the yellow pages, my town doesn’t have a Service Center, but there is one about thirty miles away. I called there. The man who answered advised me not to bring the microwave in because it would have to be sent off for repairs and it could be two weeks before it came back. He advised me to go to Sears.com on the Internet and schedule home maintenance there. He said it would cost about the same as bringing it in and would be a lot faster.
I thanked him and went online to Sears.com. It took a while to find the screen where you enter the information for a service appointment. Before I could use the screen, I had to register as a user and then give the information I had provided over the telephone. The final screen took less than a minute. I was feeling pretty good until the screen changed to another that said I should schedule a service call by calling 1 800-4-MY-HOME.
I was about to give up when I noticed that the Sears web site has a locator for their stores and service centers. A quick search by zip code gave me a list including the St. Joseph center, one in Olathe, and one in Kansas City. The one in St. Joseph was closest by about three miles, so I decided to call them back.
This time someone else answered the phone and repeated the story about having to send the appliance away for repair if I brought it in. I asked where they would send it and was told “Kansas City.” I said that I was not far from one of the Kansas City centers (Olathe). He said the Olathe store would also send it away to the same place, the Kansas City center on Front Street.
So my plan was clear. Drive to Kansas City. But before I did, I checked the yellow pages again and called a small local repair shop. The transaction went like this.
Female voice: Price’s Appliance.
Noonoo: Hello. I have a Kenmore microwave oven. It works sometimes, but sometimes the timer counts down without heating.
Female voice: Sounds like a bad door switch. Can you bring it in?
Noonoo: Sure.
The shop was about a mile away. After two hours, I got a phone call.
Female voice: Hello, this is Price’s Appliance. Your microwave oven is done.
I went to pick it up and paid $38.00. The problem had been a bad door switch. It had taken less time to get it done in a small shop than it had just trying to get Sears to agree to service it. Sears would have made more money on the repair. Obviously the small shop owner has a lot to learn.
